What It Takes
by braidonfire
Summary: When Castle leaves for the summer, Beckett thinks she will never have another chance to tell him how she feels. So when she gets the news that shatters her world, what can she do to make things right? Follows 2x24. Review? :
1. Chapter 1

To clear up some confusion.

_I have not abandoned _Fighting Forever_, but I got this idea the other day and had to write it out. I got some opinions and decided to post it. Please give it a chance? :) (Side note: Turns out Wonton Soup gives the brain a creative boost.)_

_Disclaimer: As much sadness as it causes me, I do not own Castle or any of its characters or rights. :(_

* * *

He was gone. Just like that, he was out of her life in an instant. Seeing him walk down the corridor of the precinct with _her _on his arm had almost made Kate shatter right there. She knew everyone was watching her from the window, but she didn't care. Trying to keep all her emotions in check so they didn't all come crashing down around her, she tilted her head back and took a deep breath.

She didn't know what she was supposed to do now. This whole thing was, after all, her fault. She'd waited too long. It had taken a co-worker spelling it out for her to realize that she needed to tell him how she felt, and she'd waited too long to act on what she'd finally realized.

So now, as she sat perched on the edge of her desk, she felt lost. The most important person in her life had just walked away from her, and she couldn't even be sure he would come back. Esposito had seemed so sure this would be his last case, and Kate didn't want to believe that, but it was possible. And that thought itself was almost too painful to think about.

She wasn't the kind of girl to run after him. She wasn't going to destroy what was obviously a perfectly good relationship between two wealthy, famous people.

So why was her heart screaming for her to run down that same hallway he'd been in seconds ago and kiss him? Why did she have such a strong urge to just let herself go and _be_ with him?

Defeated, she shook her head. She was a strong person; she wasn't going to let this get to her. She sighed and picked up her coat, tucking her chair under her desk and holding her head high.

Kate turned, meeting the stares of her four coworkers full on. Taking careful, steady steps, she pushed the door to the meeting room open and poked her head through.

"Hey guys, I think I'm gonna call it a night. It's been a long day." She said it with a smile, trying to shove all evidence of sad emotion to the back of her mind. She could see it in their eyes; the confusion, the worry, the pity. She knew they had an idea of what had just happened, but she wasn't about to say anything to confirm or deny it.

Lanie stepped forward first. She didn't try to put on a poker face like Kate; her face clearly displayed her worry for her best friend. "Honey, what just happened?"

"Nothing, Lanie. Night." Kate turned for the door, but the other woman caught her hand.

"You know I don't believe that, girl. You need to talk about it?"

Kate chewed on the inside of her lip, trying to keep her emotions hidden and put on a small grin. "I said nothing happened, Lanie." She turned to everyone else, putting a foot out the door. "See you tomorrow."

Her steps sped up as she headed towards the elevators. She never cried at work; it was unprofessional and, to her, it seemed weak. She didn't want the people she saw every day to see her break down. She didn't want them to know what she was feeling on the inside, especially not right now.

The elevator doors opened immediately. Stepping in, she instinctively gravitated to the back. She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed, her body starting to shake. She didn't want to cry, but the tears trying so desperately to escape the corners of her eyes clearly thought otherwise. The steel doors opened again and she walked out into the lobby of the precinct.

Traffic in New York, no matter what time of day, was always hell. The constant honking of the car horns and the shouts of annoyed drivers usually reminded her of the strange reasons why she loved this city, but today they just annoyed her.

As she shifted her car into _park_ mode to wait, her thoughts trailed back to Castle. He was probably somewhere in this insane jam, with that blonde Stepford woman on his arm, waiting to get to his sunny Hamptons.

_Don't do this to yourself_, she scolded, sighing. But she couldn't help it. She didn't know what had been going through _his_ mind when he'd left. She didn't know if he would even want to talk to her or think about her ever again. She didn't know if he'd ever call her again, or if they'd ever have another movie night or go out for another drink. Shaking her head, she tried to calm herself down. She was getting too far ahead of herself, and that would just stress her out and cause even more problems.

When she finally got to her apartment, twenty-five minutes later, she put her mail down on the counter and hung her coat up in the closet. Sinking down onto the couch, she laid her head back and closed her eyes.

And she let the tears come freely.

* * *

Richard Castle was torn.

What had Kate wanted to say before Gina had appeared? What had been tearing her apart so much? She'd refused his offer of going to the Hamptons so many times, but was it silly to think that maybe she'd wanted to reconsider? The look in her eyes had been painful to see. He hated knowing she was so conflicted, so confused.

He looked out the window of the car, into the bustling city he loved so much. He'd lived here his whole life, and he wanted to stay for the rest of it. He could hear the angry horns and frustrated shouts of the civilians on the sidewalks; they made him smile in amusement.

Gina was sitting next to him, her fingers busy with her Blackberry. She was always working in some way or another, whether it was hounding him to get his book done or making a deal on the phone with some big name company. Part of him loved that she was so busy, so important, but the other part wished she could just set some time aside for _them_.

It slightly frustrated him when he realized that the latter was the thing he wanted more.

Gina was a busy, working woman. She could never settle down happily. But Kate…she was different. She was dedicated to her work, but she knew when to quit. She knew how to have fun.

That was why he'd partially fallen in love with her.

He shook his head, trying to get rid of all things Beckett in his mind. Here he was, on his way to his exclusive beach house with a beautiful woman on his arm, and he was thinking about a detective. It didn't make sense.

_A detective who just happens to be someone you care about_, the voice in his head reminded him.

He sighed in frustration. That voice was right; he could never stop thinking about her. She was his best friend, his partner. She would do anything for him and he would do anything for her.

"You okay?" Gina had stopped typing and was now looking up at him, confused. She must have heard his sigh or seen his conflicted expression.

Smiling, he looked down at her and took her hand. "Yeah," he said, trying to restore some happiness in his eyes. "Yeah. I'm fine."

Reminding himself of beautiful summer breezes and warm ocean sand, he pushed all things Kate to the back of his mind, where they would stay for the rest of the summer.

* * *

Lanie sighed. She knew Kate had been ready to tell Castle how she felt about him. For her, that took a lot of courage and a _hell_ of a lot of convincing. But if she was finally ready, there was nothing stopping her.

And she _had_ been ready. She was going to tell him she was in love with him—right before that stupid Stepford blonde had shown up.

Lanie could see it in her friend's eyes. The defeat, the annoyance. She'd shaken the woman's hand politely, but there had been tons of frustration behind her eyes. She'd taken deep breaths, followed by an '_I thought you two didn't get along._' She had almost hit her breaking point, right there and then.

Sighing, Lanie picked up her coat and fished her phone out of the pocket. Whether Kate liked it or not, they were about to have a serious girl talk.

_You wanna talk about it?_ The text was sent in a matter of seconds, and making her way over to the elevator, Lanie was worried about the response she would get.

_No._

A giggle escaped her. That was so typically Kate.

_Don't care. I'm coming over there in a half hour. Pick a movie and pull out some popcorn._

Making her way out to her car, she thought about how her friend would respond to that. The girl was probably curled up on her couch, trying to convince herself to forget about what had happened and just get on with everything else.

Shaking her head, Lanie made her way out into the hellish traffic that was a part of the city she loved.

"Girl, Imma smack you."

Kate and Lanie had been talking for the past hour about everything but what she'd come over to talk about. There was a half-empty bottle of wine on the coffee table in front of them, and a Nicolas Sparks movie _had_ been playing, until Kate had gotten annoyed with it and had shut it off.

Kate sighed. She wasn't an idiot; she knew full well why Lanie was really here. "Look, what do you want to know?"

The smirk was immediately erased from the ME's face. She moved her hand over the other woman's, offering her comfort. Kate moved her hand away.

"I want you to tell me what happened, sweetie. I saw your face after writer boy left; you weren't just upset, you were destr_oy_ed. I hate seeing you like that." After a moment's pause, she added, "He broke your heart, didn't he?"

The detective shook her head. "No, Lanie. That wasn't it at all. He just…" She had to stop to take a shaky, deep breath. God, she was more damaged by this than she had thought. "I waited too long. He kept asking me to go with him to the Hamptons, and I kept saying no. But then when he told me he was leaving, I couldn't wait any longer, and I…I broke up with Tom. Told him it wasn't what I was looking for. And when I tried to tell Castle how I really felt about him…_she_ showed up."

Lanie didn't need to ask who '_she_' was. The look in her friend's eyes said it all. "Did he know?"

"What?"

"Did Castle know what you were going to say?"

Kate shook her head. "No. I mean, I don't think so. He just seemed confused as to why we were standing there and why I was rambling on about how much fun I've had in the past year and how I'm so glad we're friends."

She was shaking. Saying all this was just rehashing everything for her, and she'd worked hard to try and push it all to the back of her mind. Now it was just flooding her again, threatening to crush her.

Lanie didn't say anything else. She just moved to the other side of the couch, and holding her best friend in her arms, offered as much comfort as she could.

* * *

_Oh please, please review? It really does mean the world :)_


	2. Chapter 2

The first month of summer passed slowly. It consisted mostly of Kate sitting at her desk, cracking the odd case and staring at a certain empty chair next to said desk. No one seemed to want to kill people in the summer, so as a result, she found herself doing a lot more thinking than she had originally planned.

She was pretending that it didn't bother her that he had taken _Gina_ to the Hamptons and not her. She was wearing a mask every day of her life. After her talk with Lanie that night, the month before, she had closed herself off again. Only the ME knew how she _really_ felt inside, but she wasn't trying to get her to talk about it anymore.

She hadn't heard from him or seen him since that day. It had been a month. She'd been left to deal with her own problems on her own for a _month_, and it was still killing her. She'd never fallen for someone as much as she'd fallen for him and now she wasn't sure she could get back on her feet.

"Yo, Beckett, we got a body," Esposito called from across the room. "Lex and third. You comin'?"

Kate sighed, holstering her gun. "Yeah, you drive."

Esposito's eyebrows shot up, his surprise completely evident. "You sure?"

"Yeah, go for it." She tossed him the keys to her Crown Vic.

"Thanks!" He ran off to the elevator, not giving her time to rethink her offer. She shook her head amusedly. He was like a kid in a candy shop when it came to cars.

Ryan came up behind her, making her jump in surprise. "Hey," he murmured, concerned. "You okay?"

She smiled. "Yeah, I'm good. Just not in the mood for driving today."

He furrowed his brow but didn't question her. Still looking worried, he rushed off to catch up with his partner.

* * *

It seemed Rick was having a stare-down with his laptop.

He had been sitting on the couch for an hour, trying to come up with words. Gina had been _hounding_ him for a new chapter of the next installment of _Nikki Heat_, but his motivation was gone. It was torture for him to think of _her_, but without thinking of her, the books would not be finished. She basically _was_ the books.

Once he'd allowed himself to try and pull ideas from the thought of his muse, his mind had kicked into overdrive. His brain was immediately filled with Kate. Her scent, her eyes, her hair, her touch. All things Kate. Everything Kate.

He was sure Gina had noticed by now. She must have. He'd been as mopey and pathetic as a lost puppy ever since they'd left the city and now, a month later, he hadn't improved. She wasn't stupid; she must have at least realized something was off. But she was too busy with her damn Blackberry, her work, to pay much attention.

He hadn't moved for a while, so when he stretched his legs out, it felt relaxing. He sighed and tried to close his eyes and welcome a kind of sleep, but he was startled by the shrill ringtone of his phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Ricky? It's Jasmine."

He remembered her fairly well. They'd met at a book party, not unusual for him, and had gone out for drinks once or twice. Nothing had blossomed from it, but a small friendship had been built.

"Jasmine, hey. How are you?"

"Bad, Rick. Listen. I kind of met this guy, and he's no good. He's out for me."

Rick was now sitting straight up on the couch, all thoughts of a nap forgotten.

"Out for you?"

"Yeah. He wants money or something, I don't know. Anyway…I need your help."

"Anything, Jasmine. What can I do?"

"I know you have a relationship with the NYPD…I just need you to use your skills you got from them and dig around for me. It won't be dangerous, I promise. I just need you to tap some phone records for me."

He nodded before realizing she couldn't actually see him. "Of course." He set his laptop down on the couch. "Do I need to be in the city for this?"

"That would make it easier."

"Great. I'm up in the Hamptons now, but I can be at your place in a few hours. Sound good?"

He heard her relieved sigh on the other end of the line. "That sounds great."

"Rick smiled, slipping out of the study and into the main foyer. "See you in a few, then."

"And Rick?"

"Yeah?"

He could almost hear the smile in her voice. "Thank you."

* * *

Two hours later, he was closer to the city than he had been in a while. Gina had understood that he had to help a friend, but she had added that if he wasn't back by the next morning she would "tie an angry monkey to his head, throw bananas across the room and see how it played out". He had cringed at that; she had always had a way with words.

_I wonder what I'll be able to do_, he thought absentmindedly. Tapping phone records was something he'd only seen Beckett—he felt a twist of emotion in his stomach—do a few times, so he didn't know much about it.

Effortlessly remembering the girl's address, he parked his car across the street and walked to the front door. The doorman, recognizing him, swung the glass door wide open with a broad grin and let him in.

Jasmine pulled him inside her apartment as soon as he knocked. Her eyes were shifty, scanning the hallway for any signs of life before slamming and locking the door behind them.

"My laptop's over there," she whispered quietly, pointing to the couch. Rick sat down and pulled it open, immediately opening a search engine just in case.

"He's been calling me non-stop," his friend explained, looking extremely anxious. "I would have already called the police, but the number's blocked and I'm not sure they'd be able to do anything."

He smiled sympathetically, and patted her shoulder. "Jas, you should have. They could have helped you much more than I can. In fact," he thought aloud, "I'm going to give my detective friend a call. She'll be able to help you, I promise."

She gripped his arm, suddenly frightened. "He'll find out. He'll hurt me."

Rick sighed, getting impatient. "Look, Jasmine, you're not telling me everything and I respect that. But I can't just tap into private phone records. I'm not a cop. I need to call my friends at the 12th. They can do that."

The woman relaxed her grip on his forearm and ran her hands through her hair. "Fine."

He pushed the number 2 button and waited. He would never tell her, but he had Kate on speed dial. Settling into the couch, he waited for her to pick up.

* * *

Kate took a long sip of her coffee. Lanie was perched on the edge of her desk, staring at her, waiting for her to finish so she could answer her question. She was purposefully avoiding sitting in _his_ chair, as everyone else had.

She planted the cup back on her desk and sighed. "Lanie, I—"

Her cell phone trilled loudly, the song she'd set as _his_ ringtone blaring through the precinct. She stared down at the screen, eyes wide and startled, and then looked back up at Lanie.

"Pick it up." The ME's eyes were alight with excitement.

"No." No way was Kate picking that up. She couldn't talk to him. She wasn't ready.

"Dammit, girl, you pick that up or I will."

Esposito and Ryan had both crowded around the desk too; now everyone was staring down at the phone like it had grown a set of teeth. "What's goin' on?"

"Kate's being a baby and won't pick up the phone to talk to the man she's in love with."

"Lanie!"

The other woman shrugged. "Hey, I'm just saying what you won't."

Kate sighed. "I'm not picking it up. If he cares that much he'll leave a message."

"Pick. It. _Up_."

"_No_."

"Yes!"

"I'm not touching it!"

"_Pick up the phone, Beckett_." Esposito and Ryan spoke at once, sending a creepy chill down the detective's spine.

"Ugh! Fine!" She made a grab for the phone, but never got the chance to answer it before the ringer shut off and an eerie silence filled the room.

Lanie sighed, exasperated, and patted her friend on the shoulder as she made her way out of the bullpen. Ryan and Esposito both shrugged, walking to their own respective desks.

Kate sat back in her chair and mentally smacked herself for leaving it so long. She stared moodily at the small black phone until she was called back into action.

* * *

Rick sighed. Either she was working a case and didn't want to pick up the phone, or she didn't want to talk to _him_.

"Okay. Do you have an address on this guy?" He turned to the woman next to him and she nodded.

"Yeah, here." She scribbled down a number and street name onto a slip of paper and handed it to him.

In his mind, he was debating whether or not he should go to the guy's place. If he went, he would just cause a fight. He knew that. But he cared about Jasmine, and no way was he letting someone get to her.

It was all he could do to go check it out. He wouldn't get hurt; being the expert of dozens of crime scenes, he knew how to handle things and had knowledge on his side. He'd just channel his inner Beckett—he stopped that thought right there. He couldn't think about her now.

He stood, leaving Jasmine on the couch as he grabbed his shoes and put them on. A look of confusion washed over her exotic features until the realization hit.

"You're _not_ going over there."

"I am." Seeing the look of sheer panic cross her face, he added, "Because it's all I can do. I know how to work a crime scene, Jasmine. You think I've been following the cops around for the past year and haven't learned anything?"

"He's _dangerous_, Rick. If he sees you, if he finds out you went there, there is no doubt in my mind that he'll hurt you, or worse." She shuddered.

He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. "Jasmine, nothing is going to happen. I don't know what I'm looking for here, but maybe there's something I'll be able to see in his apartment that'll help me figure out why he's after you."

His friend was shaking, but she understood. "Rick, promise you'll call me as soon as you get out of there."

He smiled and nodded.

"I promise."

* * *

The alleyway was cold and dark. With the sunlight of the summer day long gone, the only light Castle had was that of his flashlight. There were trashcans lining the sides of the buildings around him, filling the air with a putrid stench.

He couldn't believe _this_ was where the guy lived. Jasmine had always been so high-class, so civilized. It shocked him that she'd gotten involved with someone with this kind of lifestyle.

There were no stars out tonight. The brick buildings around him covered the moon, an eerie twilight falling over the area. For a summer night, it felt like it was freezing cold. He found himself suddenly wishing he had a coat.

Shining his small beam of light onto the walls of the structures around him, he read the brass numbers in his head. _308, 310, 312…_

He glanced down at the slip of paper in his hand, where Jasmine had written the address.

_314._

Rick took a deep breath. What the hell was he looking for, exactly? Some sort of magical clue that would tell him why a low-class shark was pestering a friend of his for money? How was this going to end well?

Ascending the steps to the front door of the apartment, a feeling of dread sank down onto his shoulders. As much as he'd promised Jasmine he'd be okay, could he really hold onto that?

Through the chilling silence, a single footstep rang out against the concrete. Castle spun around, and saw nothing more than a shadow in the dark.

* * *

_Dunn dunn dunn..._

_Sorry, I had to do that :p I didn't get a lot of reviews on the last chapter (THANK YOU to whoever did leave a review, and to everyone who Favorited this or added it to their Story Alerts) so I'm hoping you'll be kind enough to leave more this time? I love to hear what people think of my work. :)_


	3. Chapter 3

_Okay. So._

_This chapter...I don't really know about it. It's just sort of a placeholder, but it's also crucial, if that makes any sense. Like I said, I'm not sure if I like it or not._

* * *

The rest of the day passed slowly for Kate. They'd cracked one teenager, guilty of killing his aunt in a rage, and then the paperwork had consumed them. Even now, at five o'clock in the afternoon, the stack of sheets on her desk was ten centimetres high. She sighed.

She was still kicking herself for not answering the phone. The fear she had of rejection, of hurt, had overwhelmed her descision-making skills. She'd just sat there like a child, afraid to talk to him. It was like high school all over again.

Esposito and Ryan had both left for the day, their paperwork not nearly as time-consuming as hers. Lanie was still at work in the morgue, but it would probably be another hour before they could meet up and go for a drink.

Her cell phone trilled loudly, making her jump out of her seat. The first thought that entered her mind was, _Is it him?_ She smacked herself. Of course that was what she would think about first. She was like a teenager.

But no. The sound emanating from her Blackberry wasn't Castle's ringtone. It was an unknown number calling. Confused, she answered immediately.

"Beckett."

A small, choked sob could be heard on the other end. "Detective Beckett?"

Worry hit the detective like a landslide. She knew that voice. "Alexis, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

Another sob. "No. No, I'm not, and neither is dad, oh God, Detective…"

"Lex, call me Kate, okay?" She was already pulling her coat on and heading to the Captain's office. "What happened?"

"I-it's dad," the teen managed to whisper, trying to calm her sobs. "He—he never came home last night, and Gina got worried, and she called his friend, and his friend said—"

"Alexis, I need you to calm down, okay? Take a deep breath and tell me exactly what is going on. Ten words or less."

Kate could hear the girl take a deep, shaky breath. "Dad got shot."

And just like that, her world was thrown off its axis.

* * *

_Oh my God._

It was all Kate could think. Her brain had stopped functioning the moment Castle's daughter had said those three words. They were her worst nightmare, her biggest fear. In the time he'd been following her, she'd always been worried he'd get himself hurt. But if it had to happen at all, why had it happened when she _hadn't_ been around?

She'd rushed into the Captain's office as fast as she could, surprising him and making him jump out of his seat. Her words had been punctuated with choked sobs, similar to those she'd heard from Alexis, but she'd managed to spit out that she had to leave, that Castle had been hurt, and that she'd be back tomorrow. Her boss had understood completely, and had let her go, telling her to call everyone when she had more news.

So now, as she drove through the hellish rush hour traffic of Manhattan, she was breaking down. She couldn't think properly. All she seemed to be able to do was imagine the scene of him, crumpled up in the New York Presbyterian hospital, unconscious. She knew the pain Alexis must be going through. Gina too.

Finally, she saw the sign for her destination and parked her car on the street. She threw some coins into the parking meter and ran inside.

Skidding to a halt at the elevators, she pressed the _up_ button and waited. Waiting was the last thing she wanted to do at that moment, but it at least gave her time to attempt to process what was going on.

It gave her time to think. What would happen when she got up there? What state would Alexis be in, and would Gina be helping her? What state would Gina her_self_ be in, and would she even want Kate there at all?

The elevator doors slid open, and Kate stepped in. Remembering the directions Alexis had given her the best she could, she pushed the button for Level 6 and prayed the metal contraption would take her to her partner as fast as she wanted it to.

As soon as the doors slid open, she was racing down the hallway, leaving the nurses and doctors around her with surprised and even shocked faces. No way in hell was she wandering the halls looking for Castle's room, so she sped over to the reception desk, grabbing onto its edge as she came to a sudden halt. The nurse sitting there had an expression on her face that could only be described as sheer bewilderment.

"My name is Kate Beckett, I'm here to see Richard Castle. Can you point me in the right direction, please?"

The nurse pointed to the right, her eyes still wide. "Over there."

Kate's eyes snapped over to the door immediately on her right, and sure enough, she could see Alexis' bright red hair through the window. Ushering a quick 'thank you' to the reception nurse, she tried to calm herself as she speed-walked over to the door and pulled it open.

As soon as she saw the scene in the room, she could barely hold everything in anymore. Castle was laying there, his arms hooked up to IVs and a white gauze patch on his chest. His eyes were closed, and the beeping from his heart monitor was almost steady.

Kate found herself with an armful of sobbing teenager as Alexis slammed into her, choking out broken words and sentences. She hugged the girl tightly, her own tears spilling over the edge as the whole thing hit her at once.

Her partner, the man she _loved_, (as she was finally admitting that to herself), was lying in a hospital. Probably in danger of dying. His daughter had chosen to call _her_. Suddenly, it was all too much. She glanced over at the plush brown chair next to the wall.

"Alexis, let's sit down, okay?" Feeling the teen nod against her shoulder, she slowly moved to the chair and lowered herself down, pulling the girl along with her. The teen bent her knees and found herself sitting on the detective's lap.

They sat like that for a long while, Alexis still sobbing and Kate brushing away the tears that were slowly running down her face.

Kate more than anyone knew how Alexis must have been feeling. The thoughts that must have flooded her when she got the call to come back to the city had probably consumed her brain. To come so close to losing a parent, someone with such an important presence in your life, was a horrible and terrifying experience to say the least.

For the first time since she'd arrived, the detective looked over at Gina—and a chill went through her. The blonde publisher was staring at her, an unfathomable expression taking over her face. Her Blackberry was frozen in her hands.

Kate wanted to ask. She wanted to have all the facts as to why the_ hell_ someone had hurt Castle. She wanted to _kill_ whoever did it. But she couldn't find any words.

Holding Alexis tighter, she looked over at her partner again. He _almost_ looked peaceful, and if Kate didn't know what he'd been through, she would have believed that he was in no form of pain whatsoever.

She felt the teen yawn against her, and she tried to shift her into a more comfortable position. "Alexis, get a bit of sleep, okay? You've had a long day." She knew it was stupid; the girl couldn't sleep with her father in such terrible condition. But she felt the need to suggest it.

Just as she'd expected, Alexis shook her head and sniffled. "Can't."

"Okay. Just rest then. Do you want me to lay you down on the couch?" She tilted her head in the direction of the green sofa in the corner.

"Mm-mm. Stay here."

Kate nodded and slid further down in her chair, trying to give the girl more room for comfort. She stretched her legs out in front of her and tried to relax.

A few minutes later, she could feel Alexis' steady breathing against her and she slowly lifted the girl into the air. She carried her over to the soft, mint-green coloured couch and lay her down, smoothing her hair behind her head.

She could still feel Gina's glare on her back, but she didn't turn around. She didn't know the woman well, but after the surprise appearance she'd made at the precinct Kate just didn't have the strength to face her right now.

She took a shaky breath and looked over at the bed in the middle of the room. She could feel the lump in her throat finally starting to form, and tears stung her eyes. She walked over and eased herself down onto the edge of it and lightly touched his hand.

"Hey! Oh, my God, what the hell? You'll pull the IVs out or something!" Gina was sitting straight up in her seat now, her eyes wide with worry.

Except…it wasn't worry. No, it wasn't worry at all. It was…annoyance.

Kate felt a feeling of white-hot anger bubble up. She had finally realized why Gina had been staring at her. She finally knew why the woman had always seemed to dislike her, even though they'd never met.

She whipped her head around, meeting the publisher's eyes head-on. "Look, Gina. I don't know what the hell you have against me, but—"

"Jesus, get off the bed!" The other woman trotted over to the bed and practically yanked her off, her heels clicking on the floor.

Not wanting to disturb Castle, she stood immediately, her hand leaving his. "Fine. You know what? I have a few phone calls to make anyways. Excuse me."

She turned for the door, barely-leashed anger evident in every step she took. She whipped out her phone and started calling everyone at the precinct.

Esposito and Ryan had been at Jenny's place playing Madden, so she'd talked to them both at once. She could tell they were both in shock, but they had just told her to call them when he was in more stable condition, and she'd agreed. She wasn't in the right state of mind to carry a full, deep conversation about this with anyone.

Lanie obviously thought differently. She immediately said she wanted to get over to the hospital, to comfort her best friend and give that bitch Gina a piece of her mind, but Kate wouldn't hear it. She told her the same as the boys, that she could call with updates when they came.

Now, as she sat in the almost-deserted halls of New York Presbyterian hospital, she didn't know what to do. She knew going back in there, facing Gina _and_ the sight of her fallen partner, might just break her. But Alexis…the girl may be sleeping now, but she would need her later. It had to say something that the girl had called the detective specifically, right?

She sighed. She wasn't going to gain anything by running over the countless _what if_s of the situation. It was in the past. They all needed to focus on Castle now.

The tears that had threatened to spill over before Gina had had her outburst finally overwhelmed her, and she put her head in her hands. Why had Castle been stupid enough to get himself hurt? Why had he been in that area of town when it happened? Who the hell had made him go there?

Amidst all her thinking, she turned and saw Alexis standing in the doorway, looking at her. Kate jumped.

They stared at each other for a while, the atmosphere silent and heavy. Alexis spoke first.

"It wasn't your fault."

Kate looked up. "If only I had been there—"

"Kate, stop it. My dad was in that area of town of his own accord. I don't know why he was there, but with you being a cop and all, I'm pretty sure you're going to find out?" She said it like a question, making Kate laugh for the first time all day. A nod followed as the detective wrapped her arm around Alexis' shoulder and pulled her close.

"Yes, I'm a cop. But you know what's even more dangerous than a cop?"

Alexis raised an eyebrow. "What's that?"

Kate sucked in a breath, repositioning herself. "An _angry_ cop. Which is exactly what I am. Meaning, this guy isn't going to get away with it."

Alexis' mouth turned up into a half smile, and she snuggled close to the detective. "Thanks, Kate. You're really great, you know?"

Kate smiled. "So are you, kiddo. So are you."

* * *

_Like I said, I'm not sure about this...leave a review and tell me what _**you**_ think of it? :)_


	4. Chapter 4

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry._

_I guess this chapter decided to be short. I had no clue, my version of Word is prehistoric and doesn't give me a word/letter count at the bottom, or anywhere for that matter._

_I like this chapter a lot more than the last, but it's up to you guys to decide if it's good or not in the end. Leave a review? :)_

* * *

Gina had left for the day, mumbling something about a file she had to email to some editors and needing some sleep. Alexis was curled up on the same green sofa Kate had placed her on before, in a fitful slumber. Martha had arrived, flown in from California where she'd been auditioning for a role in a movie. The woman was sitting in the corner, her knees curled up to her chest. She was staring at the bed with a blank, shocked expression on her face.

And then there was Kate. She was seated at the edge of Castle's bed, her legs curled up under her and her hands on the blankets. She'd been sitting there since Gina had left, and nobody had tried to kick her off yet. She was occupying herself by staring at the wall, at a certain spot that must have felt pretty damn intimidated by now.

"He loved you, you know."

The words brought her out of her trance, and she turned slightly to face her partner's mother. The English language momentarily escaped her as they sank in.

"What?" It came out as barely a whisper.

The actress behind her sighed. "I know he was with Gina, but he was in love with you. He talked about you constantly. '_You should have seen Beckett today_', '_Beckett said the funniest thing today_'…he was never really with anyone else. It was always you." A melancholy, reflective look crossed over her face before the look of shock slipped back on.

Kate was at a complete loss for verbalization. She didn't understand. He had _left_, with his ex-wife and publisher. He had always seemed to only want her for a night or two. His reputation was so tainted.

But then, he _had_ been trying _so hard_ to get her to go with him to the Hamptons for the weekend. She had been his first choice, not Gina. Gina was a placeholder.

It dawned on her.

It was true.

She sucked in a breath and looked back at Castle. Shutting her eyes, she forced a reply out.

"I…I don't know, Martha…I mean, what if he just thinks of me as a really, really close friend? What am I supposed to do then?" She couldn't believe she was thinking this. And then saying it to her partner's _mother_. She shook her head almost imperceptibly.

She heard a laugh—an actual, legitimate laugh—come from behind her, and she looked at the woman incredulously.

"Darling, if you were _just_ his friend, I don't think he'd still be going to your precinct every day, now would he?"

Kate shook her head, a small smile spreading across her face. This was like a repeat of her conversation with Esposito.

"No. No, he wouldn't."

"Well, there you go. There's your answer."

Kate returned her gaze to the man lying in front of her. When he woke up, she would tell him. She wasn't going to let another chance at what they could have pass her by.

She stood then, careful so as to not disturb him, and turned to Martha. "Thank you. I really appreciate that."

Martha just smiled. "Anytime."

Sighing, Kate gathered her coat from the chair next to the wall and turned for the closed doorway. She placed her hand on the doorknob and heard the last words of the actress behind her.

"He _will_ wake up, Kate. And when he does, I want you to be here."

She smiled. "I'll come back tomorrow after work."

* * *

It was two days later. Two days, and Castle still hadn't woken up. Two days of agonizing, brutal waiting.

When Kate had returned to the precinct the next day, she'd removed the chair from the side of her desk. Esposito had watched her, worried. She never removed that chair. Not even after Castle had left for the summer. The chair had stayed in its rightful place, a symbol of the friendship that had formed between detective and writer.

But now, the space next to her desk was empty. It was walking room. Only air hung there, freeing the room of Castle's prescence.

A sick, horrible feeling washed over him, and the hispanic detective rushed over to his friend's desk. She had her nose buried in paperwork, obviously trying to avert her gaze from that empty spot. He slammed his hands down in front of her, causing her to glance upwards, startled.

"You haven't talked about Castle in days, Beckett. What's going on?"

"He was shot. You know what happened."

"No, _now_. What's happening now? Why is the chair gone?"

Kate sighed and dropped her pen, running her hand through her hair and shaking her bangs out. "He still hasn't woken up."

Immediately, Esposito's eyes softened as he placed his hand on her shoulder. "He will, Kate. I promise."

A shaky breath escaped her lips. "I'm just gonna have to keep believing that, right?"

"I know it's hard, Becks, but yeah. Just keep believing that."

* * *

Martha had returned to the loft to pick up clothes for Alexis, who refused to leave the hospital. Any evidence of the hard working, I-have-to-get-to-school-everyday girl were out the window while she was going through the trauma of it all. Burnt out, she was yet again asleep on the couch.

Gina and Kate were the only two awake. They sat on two chairs next to each other, both staring at the same spot on the floor. The tension in the air between them was unmistakeable and almost unbearable.

Kate wasn't usually like this. She wasn't one to sit around and let problems and worries hang in the air. She was stronger than this. Drawing in a long breath, she turned to the blonde beside her.

"Look, Gina, we've never really met before. I've never known anything about you. I don't understand why you seem to be making it so hard for me to be here."

Gina narrowed her eyes at the detective. "Seriously, Kate? You don't get it? Let me make it easier for you then. _I love Rick_. I was _married_ to him. Now that I have a second chance with him, I want to take it. I want to believe that he loves me, that he wants to give what we have a second shot too, but I can't. Not when he's so irrevocably in love with _you_!"

Kate was awestruck, again at a loss for verbalization. How was everyone but her seeing this? "Look, I—"

"No, Kate. No. Don't tell me you never saw it. You cannot honestly tell me that you never noticed how much he loves you. Following you around like a puppy dog, putting his life at risk? He wouldn't do that for anyone else and you know it."

"I—"

"Don't even say it. I _know_ you've seen it. What I don't get is why you haven't taken advantage of it yet!"

"I haven't 'taken advantage' of it yet because I didn't know it was there!" She was furious now, her voice escaping at barely below the volume of a shout. "I never saw it! In the past week, I have had at least two different women telling me how in love with me he is, and I haven't seen it for myself! I never _knew_ he loved me the way he _apparently_ does!

"And even if I _had_ seen it, you really think I would have taken _advantage_ of it like that? You really think that, Gina? The day you showed up at the precinct to get him, I was about to tell him that _I was in love with him_. I _never_ knew he loved me. It took a fellow detective telling me for me to realize _my_ feelings, let alone his!

"So I'm _sorry_, Gina, if I've _offended_ you in any way by _not_ taking advantage of the infatuation that I _never recognized_." Her eyes were blazing circles of flames.

Gina looked like a deer in the headlights. Of all the things she'd expected Kate to say, that had not been on the list.

Kate just glared at the woman, infuriated. How _dare_ she? She wasn't the kind of woman that went around pawning men for _fun_. She was dedicated and serious. Everything else in the world seemed to have stopped moving, and it was just Kate Beckett versus Gina.

* * *

Alexis Castle, woken from her already fitful and disturbing slumber, was still laying on the couch, confused. She'd heard the rising voices of the two women, her ex-stepmother and her father's best friend. Afraid of interrupting something important, she'd just opened her eyes and watched from a distance.

But she'd heard the whole thing. The entire argument had been based around Kate's feelings for her father, and her father's feelings for Kate. It had sent one thought into her mind; _I knew it_.

She'd always known it. Ever since that first day when she'd met Kate, she'd known. She'd seen it in her father's eyes, the happiness he'd gotten from her. As time had passed, and their strong-as-steel friendship had formed, she'd heard her father come home every night raving about the new trick he'd seen Beckett do, or the creepy criminal he'd seen Beckett take down. He had loved her almost from the start.

And if Kate, being the strong and protected woman she was, had realized it too, then it had to be meant to be. If she had seen her partner's emotions, if she'd felt them herself, then it _had_ to be right. It made Alexis smile, despite everything.

Knowing the arguing had to end at some point—it was, after all, a silly catfight—she settled back into the couch and let her mind sink back into a world of thoughts.

* * *

It seemed the women were still having a stare-down. They were both angry, more so Kate than the other, but they were both infuriated all the same. Their breathing had slowed, and it was just eyes against eyes.

Then, out of the blue, the beeping of the heart monitor behind them sped up incredibly fast, shocking them both. Alexis flew up from her position on the couch, startled. Before Kate even had a chance to turn around, they all heard what they'd been hoping for.

Castle's voice.

Except, when it came, it didn't say what they'd expected it to say. His eyes were still closed, and he still seemed mostly out of it and unaware of the people around him, but in his almost dream-like state, something escaped his lips that no one had expected to hear.

"Kate?"

* * *

_My God, this is barely even a chapter._

_I'd just like to thank all of my reviewers. You are all the reason I keep writing. I'd especially like to give a _huge_ thanks to **mrhyperbole**, who helped me to keep going through what I had previously thought was a haunting case of writer's block. Also, to **annaluvsu6761**, who left what has got to be one of the most entertaining reviews_ _I have ever recieved. And lastly, to anonymous reviewer **Allie**, I WANT TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE OMG, DO YOU HAVE A TWITTER OR TUMBLR OR SOMETHING? Haha, sorry guys, but her review was, to say the least, the best thing ever. 3_


	5. Chapter 5

_Sorry for the long-ish wait there, but I totally got stuck on this. You'd think it'd be the easy chapter to write, but apparently not. Anywho, I'm not entirely pleased with it...tell me what you think!_

* * *

"Kate?"

Everything in the room seemed to have frozen. Alexis was staring at the bed, her eyebrows raised. Gina's breath was coming short and shallow, and her eyes were piercing the floor. Kate stood silent and still, shock hitting her like an avalanche. She couldn't move. She could barely process what was going on, she was so surprised. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Kate. Kate, turn around." Alexis' voice rang out from the corner of the room, timid and anxious.

Slowly, the detective looked back over her shoulder. Castle seemed to be coming to his senses, his eyes squinting open and his hands gripping the sheets. Throwing all caution to the wind, she turned completely and walked over to him, taking one of his hands in hers.

She was, silently, freaking out. Her mind was racing, along with her heart, as she tried to grasp what she wanted to say next. Tightening her grip on his hand, she rubbed her thumb against his palm in small, soothing circles and looked into his eyes.

"Hey, stranger." She gave him a weak half-smile.

"Mmm…_Kate_?" The writer's eyes shot open then, surprise evident all over his face. "You're…you're _here_!"

This actually threw Kate for a loop. He must have been dreaming, or lost in thought, when he'd uttered her name. He obviously hadn't known she was really there. She furrowed her brow at him, trying her best to keep the joking light in her eyes. "Yeah, I'm here. Always."

He smiled, then sucked in a sharp breath of pain. "Th…thank you."

She gave him a tight smile and let go of his hand. Stepping to the side, she revealed Gina, who was looking particularly sour.

His eyes widened as he realized that she'd seen their whole exchange. "Gina…hey." He gave her a tight-lipped smile, wrenched with pain and frustration. "C'm 'ere."

She sucked in a gulp of air and looked away. "Why, Rick? So you can fool me with your words and wit again? You've done it before. I just…" She trailed off, staring at him.

He sighed, beckoning her forward. "Listen, can we talk about this later? I'm…not really…"

She sighed. "Yeah. I'm gonna…um…go get a coffee." Her heels clicked on the linoleum tiles of the hospital.

When she was gone, Rick turned his head toward his daughter, smiling at her. "Come 'ere, pumpkin."

Alexis shot up from her place on the sofa, rushing over to him and sitting on the edge of his bed. "Dad!"

He chuckled. "Hey, sweetie. It's okay. I'm here. I'm fine."

The teen shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks. He expected her to say she loved him, or that she was glad he was okay, when: "How could you have been so stupid!"

He laughed. "Not too sure. But that reminds me; where _is_ Jasmine?"

Kate turned her head, her brow furrowed, her eyes questioning. "Jasmine?"

A sheepish look crossed her partner's face, and he fidgeted under the sheets. "Jasmine is, um, the girl I was looking into a guy for. I…kind of figured he wouldn't be too bad, and that I could just talk him out of bothering her…and…this happened."

Her eyes flashed. She knew it wasn't this mystery girl's fault; she couldn't have known he was going to get shot. But it still made her angry that she'd asked Castle at all, without going straight to the police like she should have done. She looked at him. "I'd like to talk to her."

He sighed. "She won't talk to you. She's afraid of this guy, and she thinks the cops will just make the situation worse." He paused to look around the room. "I'm guessing that's the reason she's not here right now."

Kate sighed. "Phone number?"

"I have to respect her wishes, Kate. I can't."

Frustrated, the detective ran a hand through her hair and shook her bangs out. She sighed. "Fine. Not even a last name?"

He raised his eyebrows.

She made a small, irritated noise and moved for the door. "I'm going to go down to the Starbucks across the street. Alexis, do you want anything?"

"Whatever you're having."

Nodding, Kate left the father/daughter duo and made for the elevators, knowing full well that a certain handsome writer was staring after her.

* * *

Across the street, Kate was standing in line, ordering two lattes and an oatmeal brownie. The coffee shop was packed, people standing near walls balancing laptops and trying to shuffle into already-filled booths. The line almost went out the door into the summer heat.

The barista smiled at her, taking out a Sharpie and marking the coffees. She handed her a paper bag accompanied with a standard, cliché 'Have a nice day!'

"You too," Kate muttered with a small smile, as she started to weave through the line behind her. Just as she placed her hand on the door, she heard a young, raven-haired girl speaking quietly on the phone. The words she was saying drew Kate's ear to the conversation.

"…No, Mary…Oh, I don't know! He was shot, maybe? …I can't go see him! He has friends, _cop_ friends. They'd drag me in! …No! Look, I've gotta go…" Ending the call, the girl slipped her Blackberry into her MiuMiu purse and started to get off of her stool.

She crashed into Beckett, who had advanced to standing in front of her.

"Oh, sorry." The girl started for the door, but the detective caught her arm.

"Is your name Jasmine?"

The girl swallowed hard. She cocked an eyebrow. "Who wants to know?"

Kate pulled her badge from her pocket, where she kept it off-duty. "The law."

Feeling the girl steeling to run, she tightened her grip on her arm, digging her nails in slightly. "Don't even think about it. Come with me."

* * *

"She's mad at me."

Alexis sighed. "No, she isn't. She's terrified, and she's _worried_. Dad, you're her best friend. Not knowing who did this to you is killing her, and she just wants answers."

"No. She's mad at me. She's mad that I won't give her answers."

"Oh my God, dad, are you actually…_pouting_?" The teenager burst out laughing.

Rick sucked in a deep breath, trying to chuckle along with her, but he felt a sharp, painful stab in his chest. He cringed. Alexis' laughter immediately cleared as worry took over.

"The pain meds are wearing off, aren't they?"

He nodded.

"I'll call the nurse." The teen reached for the _Call_ button, but her father moved her hand out of the way and shook his head.

"No…don't. I don't want to be drugged."

"Dad, if it hurts—"

"_No_."

Eyebrows raised, the girl sat back, defeated. "Fine. But if it starts to hurt any more, I'll be able to tell, and then I _will_ call a nurse. Got it?"

"Yep."

"Good."

Just then, Kate burst into the room, towing a certain dark-haired woman along with her. The other woman's eyes were wide and defeated.

Jasmine.

"Look who I found," declared Kate, setting the tray of coffee and food down on the table beside her and motioning to Alexis to come get some. The girl sat shocked her seat.

The detective pushed the other woman down into a chair and then swung another around, sitting on it backwards. "Talk."

Rick spoke for the first time since they had entered the room. "Jasmine, you don't have to—"

Beckett threw him a malevolent glare, effectively shutting him up. He just gulped, cringed and looked down at his hands.

"Tell me what you know."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Ha! The hell you don't. This, all of this. I know you know who did this. _Give me a name_." There was an angry, protective inferno in her eyes, deriving from everything she'd been through and everything she cared about.

Jasmine whimpered, obviously intimidated. "I don't know who did this."

"You think this is a joke?"

"I swear to God, I don't know anything! I don't know who did this! The guy who's been hounding me, the guy Rick went to talk to, I don't even know his real name!"

Kate stopped her next retort short. Even Castle and Alexis were frozen with confusion. "Excuse me?"

"I only know him as 'Rock'. That's what everyone knows him as. But that's obviously not his real name, because he's managed to stay completely under the radar for the longest time and it's also a completely ridiculous name. If it was his real name, he'd be locked up by now."

Beckett stared into her eyes, searching for any signs of dishonour or lying. But, she found nothing. The girl was telling the truth.

She sighed, handing the woman her NYPD card. "Stay in Manhattan," she said strictly. "If you see your little friend again, _call me_. It'll help, I promise."

Jasmine stood, her hands shaky from the stress she'd been put under. "Okay. And Rick?"

"Yes?"

She paused. "I'm so sorry."

And with that, she was out the door.

* * *

_Okaaaaay. So. A couple of things._

_First off, in relation to this story, I'm not really sure about this chapter, just like the last. Reviews would be appreciated; I like to know how to improve. :) (So to the two people that have critiqued me in a not-so-nice manner, thanks bunches!)_

_Secondly, I just wrote a new one-shot (or one-shot for now),_ **Superstar_. _**_It hasn't gotten the number of hits I would have liked, (I mean, obviously I'm very, very grateful to the people who read it, don't get me wrong...) But if you have time, check it out! It's pretty sweet :)_

_And, finally, on a totally unrelated note, I just started watching _Firefly_, and I'm totally in love with it. I do _not _understand why that masterpiece was canceled._


	6. Chapter 6

"Alexis…" Castle cringed, his words breaking. "Could you give Kate and I a second?"

The redhead girl nodded, dog-earing the page of her Charles Dickens novel and taking it with her as she sat outside. The writer turned to the brunette detective sitting across from him on the bed, her legs folded under her and a laugh still playing on her face.

"Can we, um, move this for a second?" Their unfinished game of _Sorry_ still sat on his knees, and Kate quickly bent forward to pick it up. She set it on the bedside table and leaned back, questioning him with her eyes.

"It's been too long, Kate."

Her brow furrowed. She had no clue, nor did she think she would anytime soon, about what he was getting at.

"Don't you think that…maybe after everything we've been through…someone's trying to tell us something?" He was cringing from the pain talking was causing him, but she knew she wouldn't be able to press the Call button without him trying to stop her, which would just cause him more physical exertion, which she didn't want. So she continued to sit back on her heels and wait for his point to arise.

"I don't understand."

"I just mean…that maybe, given that we've been given chance after chance, with your apartment being blown up and now this…that maybe we just need to…"

"Jump."

They'd always been able to finish each other's sentences. Ever since they'd partnered up, he'd finish her thoughts and every once in a while, she'd finish his. But this time, it was different. The fact that she'd been able to complete a thought so important, so huge, meant that she was thinking the _exact_ same thing as he was.

That maybe whatever they had between them, whatever they'd both been dodging for so long, was finally catching up to them.

Maybe it was actually time.

Time to take a leap of faith. Time to forget about everyone else, anyone else who could possibly get in their way, and focus on just the two of them. Time to finally acknowledge what everyone had been trying to get them to see for so long and really go for it.

The next words escaped both their lips at the same time. It was just a reinforcement of the strong bond of friendship, and maybe something else, that the two shared.

"I think I'm in love with you."

At the two conjoined, matching statements, a collective gasp rose between them. Kate had known she had to say it. She'd broken off a relationship with a _perfectly good_ detective for this man. But when he'd said the exact same as her, it had shocked her, surprised her. She hadn't known he would say it too.

She leaned back on her heels, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape in shock. He stared at her, waiting for either a response to come to his lips or for her to break the silence herself.

After a minute of silence, the latter happened.

"Um."

"Yeah."

"So…"

"I…what…"

He positioned himself so that there was more room between his body and the railing of the bed, and patted the space next to him. "C'm 'ere."

Kate smiled. She knew he was with Gina; she _had _to remember that or else she had a feeling that things might get very, very bad between her and the publisher. But the space next to him, the empty sheets, looked so inviting. She crawled over and lowered herself down, cuddling up next to him. He nestled his arm around her, tracing patterns on her palm.

It was an unspoken rule, though, that he couldn't kiss her. Not until his relationship with Gina was over. Kate wasn't one to cheat, and neither was he, so for now they had to settle for just being together.

A flash of red caught the couple's attention as Alexis sprang into the doorway. A mixed expression crossed her face, a blend of happiness, surprise, pride and…fear. Her eyes were wide, and she was motioning with her hands. She was mouthing one word. _Gina_.

Kate realized what she was trying to communicate first. She sprang from the bed, smoothing her hair over and leaving a very confused writer with his arm suspended in the air. She flew over to the door and fell into a seat, pulling out her phone and fiddling with it. As if on cue, a certain blonde publisher waltzed into the room.

It was almost as if she knew what had transpired in that same place just moments before, as she clicked her heels on the hard linoleum floor and made her way over to Rick. She stopped by his bed, took his hand, leaned down, and kissed him.

It shouldn't have bothered Kate. She wasn't with Rick, he wasn't hers. Yet. She didn't have a right to be jealous of Gina. But when her lips met his, her fingers clenched around her phone and she had to avert her eyes. Seeing him with someone else…it made her _mad_, almost. If anything, it made her upset to know that he wasn't fully hers. There was still someone else in the way.

Alexis noticed the detective's reaction and sighed. It wasn't that she didn't _like_ Gina; it was just that she liked Kate better. The detective was a better match for her dad—less demanding, more fun. She knew how to keep him in line, but she had a suspicion that she knew how to have fun as well. They brought out the best in each other, something Gina and her father had never had.

Watching Gina kiss her father brought back memories. Memories of the household she'd lived in for a short while, the fighting she'd secretly heard over who would give her the doll for Christmas or who would tuck her in at night. It had seemed that with Gina, her father had always had to prove himself.

With Kate, he didn't need to do that. He didn't need to prove anything, whether it was because Kate would always beat him at something or because he didn't care if she saw him at his worst. Alexis had a sneaking suspicion that it didn't matter to the two of them if they were laughing or in tears; if they were together, they were okay.

Suddenly, Kate stood, startling the teen. Gina seemed unphased, still trying to make work of the author's lips, but he himself turned his head to look at his friend.

She flew out of the room without so much as a curt nod to either of them.

* * *

_Tell me now, where was my fault,_

_In loving you with my whole heart…_

While the Taylor Swift cover of a Mumford and Sons song played through her headphones, Kate thought. She thought about everything that had happened, and everything that she wanted to happen.

It was unfair of her to want Gina to leave. The woman was happily dating someone, and even though it hurt Kate to see them together, she couldn't very well sabotage it. She wasn't going to just walk in and kiss him too. If he really loved her, he would know it had to be her and _only_ her.

Suddenly, Alexis exited the room and sat down in the hallway next to her. Without speaking, the teen rested her hand on the detective's shoulder and smiled.

"Go back in there."

"What? No. Gina's there, I…"

As if on cue, the woman rushed out of the room, an angry look on her face. She stopped as she passed Kate, and turned to meet her confused stare.

"Go ahead in," she said menacingly. "I guess I'm not good enough anymore."

And then she walked away, her Chanel perfume lingering in the air.

Kate turned to Alexis. "What—"

"It's you, Kate," explained the girl. "It's always been you, from the start. He's in love with you; I can see it in him. Please, just…go make him happy."

Kate's heart seemed to have stopped. Was this really happening? He was hers, and she was his?

She stood, a foot shorter than usual as she'd left her heels at home and was wearing flats. "Thank you, Alexis."

"Go." She was smiling broadly, happiness alight in her eyes.

Without another word, the detective turned and headed back towards the hospital room.

It was over. Done. What had seemed like a wonderful second chance at something had crashed down for the second time. Before, it would have hurt him to see her go. Now, when he was so in love with someone else, it didn't seem so bad.

He didn't know how Gina was feeling. She hadn't said much, just nodded and said, "Finish your book, okay?" No tears, nothing. It was as if she'd heard him and Kate declare their feelings, or maybe she'd even seen them together on the bed.

It didn't matter. Their breakup hadn't affected their work the first time, and he hoped it wouldn't affect them now. Sighing, he straightened himself up just as Kate poked her head through the doorway.

They both grinned. She looked happier than he'd seen her in a while, and he just looked…well, happy. He was always happy, but this was different. There was excitement in his eyes. He was overjoyed.

They remained there for a while, looking at each other, before he scooted over and patted the bed again. She immediately climbed on.

He looked down into her eyes, alight with excitement and hope. He ran his fingers through her hair and sighed.

"You're so beautiful."

"And you talk too much."

Their first kiss was nothing like she'd ever expected. It was slow, almost hesitant, as they tested the waters of a new relationship together. But quickly, it changed, and they lay on the bed like teenagers making out.

The heart monitor behind them started beeping like crazy, startling them both. Crossing his arms, Castle sighed. "Well. That's embarrassing."

Kate burst out laughing. "We're gonna have to be a little more careful with that, huh?"

He pouted like a little child. "Uh-huh."

* * *

_I don't know. I kind of like this chapter, but part of me feels like it moved too fast. You know? Anyways, it's up to you guys. Tell me what you think! 3_


	7. Chapter 7

Kate had called the nurse after that, forcing Castle to take his medication. She knew he needed them, since he'd kept cringing in pain throughout their board game, and then when they'd just cuddled up and talked. He'd tried to hide it, and failed.

Now he was passed out, his mouth hanging just a little bit open and his hands gripping the sheets. She was curled around him, twirling a single finger through his hair and watching him sleep.

Alexis had poked her head in knowingly, whispering that she was going home for a bit to get some 'real sleep'. She'd winked and left, leaving them to their own private moment.

Martha had come and gone, having a slightly more over-dramatic reaction to the new relationship, mostly consisting of "I told you so!"s and "Darling, welcome to the family!", making Kate blush furiously. As much as it seemed awkward to admit it, she loved being called a part of the Castle family, even if it was a little premature.

Even the guys had come in after a little while, catching the pair cuddled up on the bed. Meriting raised eyebrows and Ryan slapping his partner in the back and whispering "You owe me thirty bucks", they'd sat and talked as if nothing out of the ordinary, or what had been previously unordinary, was going on.

Extracting herself from his strong arms, she climbed off the bed and slipped into her boots. Her coffee deprivation was really starting to kick in, so she figured a trip down to the Starbucks wouldn't hurt.

Once she had her skinny vanilla latte in her hand, she stepped out of the shop and started to make her way down the street when she saw a flash of metal in one of the side alleys. There was a man there, tall, bald and menacing, and a woman stood in front of him, blocking him from leaving. Kate had never seen the man before, but the woman…she had raven black hair, and her MiuMiu purse stood out like a birch tree in a forest of elms.

Jasmine.

Jasmine Riverson was her full name, as she'd gathered from her drowsy and slightly loopy partner before he'd passed out on her. ('Gathering' was more like 'poking and prodding until he spits something suffice out' in this case, but still.) She was a rich woman from Uptown, and no one had any clue how she'd gotten herself mixed in with someone like Rock. And that, Kate guessed, was exactly who was standing there against the brick wall.

It was as inconspicuous as could be, she thought. Meeting in broad daylight, where everyone could see but no one could suspect a thing. Or maybe this wasn't a meeting; maybe this was a full out confrontation, something unplanned and very, very dangerous.

As always, she had her gun hidden away in her purse. Her hand immediately found it and she pulled it out, eager to stop trouble and get this guy for good.

If she had been on duty, she would have called out "Police!" or "NYPD!" But she wasn't on duty, and this wasn't an official working arrest, so she used every inch of her body to stealthily glide across the road and get behind the bald man.

The voice in the back of her head told her to bring her gun down over the back of this guy's head. She'd done it before and she'd do it again. It would knock him clean out and he wouldn't hear her coming. Raising her gun above her head, she cringed as the one thing she hadn't counted on happened.

"Oh my God!"

Faster than she could think, Kate was spun around and smashed against a wall. He head collided with the brick and she felt herself go dizzy with pain, her vision suddenly dotted with black spots. She tried to shake it off, but two hands were clamped down onto her wrists so hard that her blood circulation was getting cut off. She couldn't move. She was trapped.

"Damn it, Jasmine," she grumbled quietly. The rich woman looked slightly sheepish, but fear overpowered everything else on her face, every other emotion. The poor lady was terrified, but whether of Kate or of this man was undetermined.

She was apologizing with her eyes, she realized. She was apologetic, but since she couldn't speak it, she communicated with the only things she could.

Then Kate snapped back into reality, where she was currently pushed up against a wall in an alleyway, by one of the scruffiest, dirty scumbags she'd ever encountered. He _reeked_ of bleach and other chemicals, and his eyes darted around faster than Kate was used to seeing in criminals. He was off it.

"NYPD. Take your hands off me." There was no tremor in her voice as she'd feared there might be. She was calm, cool and collected; she was tough.

"I said take," her voice lowering, "your hands…"

She twisted around in his grasp and flipped them over, so that his face was pressed up against the bricks and his hands were behind his back. He grunted as his teeth collided with the stone surface. It probably hurt like hell, but he deserved it.

"Off of me."

She reached for her cuffs, which were usually in her back pocket, but they weren't there. Sure enough, she could see them glinting just above the leather of her handbag. She cursed.

"Shit. Jasmine, hand me that."

The woman remained still.

Her eyes narrowed. "Jasmine, _give me the bag_."

"You're going to arrest me."

"No, Jasmine, I'm not. Of course I'm not. But you need to give me the cuffs, okay?" She outstretched her hand and made gestures similar to those of someone trying to convince a mental patient to _put down that knife_.

"You're lying."

Kate sighed, repositioning her hands so that one of them still kept a firm grip on the hopped-up crook's hands and the other was free. "Just kick it over here, will you?"

Jasmine shook her head. She began walking towards the busy Manhattan street. "I'm sorry, Kate," she said quietly, her voice almost completely overpowered by the rush of the city. "I'm so sorry."

And then she turned on her heel and ran, dodging taxis and Mercedes Benzs and people and dogs, and disappeared out of the detective's sight.

She let out a frustrated sigh. Why hadn't she knocked this son of a bitch out when she'd had the chance? She'd been right there. If she hadn't been thinking so hard, he would be out cold, handcuffed and Jasmine would be…not where she inevitably was now. Telling her little criminal friends all about the small little detective that had their leader pinned up at gunpoint.

She had options laid out in front of her. She could, only for a second, release this dirt bag's hands and make a dive for her purse, grabbing the cuffs. She might _just_ have time to jump back and catch him again before he ran off. It was risky, but it could work if she was fast enough. Or, she could reach back with her free hand and grab her phone, call Esposito and Ryan down to the alleyway and have them tie this guy up. But who knows how long she'd be sitting there holding him to a red mud wall if she did that. It could be forever. It could start to rain, or she could get hit by lightening, or his buddies could be alerted to his disappearance by that stupid prissy Jasmine and come after her. She could be sealing her own death trap.

Then, there was the last option. She could still knock him over the head with her gun, rendering him unconscious. It would be unethical, it would feel wrong and terrible, but it was her safest bet. It was the plan with the most certainty.

She knew what she had to do. She had to try. Using her peripheral vision, she stepped towards her bag and quickly removed her hands from the man's wrists. She hoped he was still disoriented enough from his little encounter with the flat rock surface to not move when she let go.

Of course, reality never goes as planned.

The second Kate pried her eyes away from him to locate her handcuffs, he was off down the alleyway, sprinting for his life. And damn, was he fast. He was toned, he was tough, he was hardcore.

And about two seconds later, he had a bullet hole in his right leg.

It was all she could do. Let him get away? Let the man that had shot her partner, the person she _loved_, get away with an almost-murder? Not a chance. It wasn't going to happen. So she'd cocked the safety off and took a shot.

At that point, she hadn't cared where it hit. It could have hit him in the head, the hip, the arm, the chest…or the leg, where it had ended up. It had been a blind shot, taken out of rage and angry confusion.

She was still pissed when she approached him a moment later, clipping his hands behind his back and ripping a strip of his cotton shirt off his chest. She tied it around his thigh, applying pressure. He deserved justice, not death.

She was calling Esposito and Ryan and Lanie and the Captain before she even had time to think. Her body was on autopilot. As she heard the sirens screaming down the pavement, saw the feet of her friends and coworkers rushing towards her, all she wanted to do was be in Castle's arms. She wanted to hear what witty remark he had for her. He would have loved to see her work so quickly in such a case.

She boxed the criminal over the head once for good measure and vengeance as he was led into a waiting cruiser. Just as she did so, her cell rang again. It was – speak of the devil – none other than Richard Castle himself.

"Hey," she answered happily. "What's up?"

"Nothing. I just woke up and you were gone. And I'm not happy about it."

Kate laughed. She could just imagine him sitting in his hospital room, pouting his life away. "I went to go get some coffee, and ran into a small…dilemma. I'm okay," she added as she heard his mouth open. "Seriously. I am. I have to go down to the station for a bit – " She looked to Esposito for confirmation of this, and he nodded " – But when I'm done I'll come back, okay?"

She could imagine his smile, as boyish as ever, on the other end. "Okay. I'll let you do your job. But you are _so_ telling me what happened after."

She chuckled. "Calm down there. You know I would never keep it from you."

* * *

_Sorry for the wait on this. I was stuck for the longest time._

_Tell me what you think! I love hearing thoughts, and it helps me know if there's even still interest at this point._


	8. Chapter 8

Through the window of the observation room, Kate could see Esposito interrogating the criminal she'd pulled in. Everyone had unanimously decided that since the case had become so personal to her, Kate should sit this one out. However much this irked her, she had complied.

The guy's name wasn't really Rock, as they'd all suspected. He wasn't one of those kids with the freaky obsessed parents that named their kids 'Apple' or 'Moses', or, well…'Rock'. No, as far as they could tell, he'd grown up with a fairly stable family life. But he was justified in giving everyone a false name – as they'd quickly discovered, he had been born Eugene Rossberg, and in the drug and gang world, a name like that would get you tossed in the water faster than you could defend yourself.

She crossed her arms and leaned back on her heels. He was bald, with a snake tattoo on his neck and a barcode inked onto his hand. His eyes were like cold blue ice as he stared at her through the glass of the two-way mirror, obviously tipped off that there was someone behind it. Kate wanted to punch the life out of him, destroy him for hurting her partner, but it would be unethical. She knew that. So she tried to calm her breathing as she watched Ryan and Esposito stare him down.

"How do you know Jasmine Riverson?" _Good_, she thought, _they're starting small_.

He narrowed his eyes. "Who?"

Kate's breath caught. Either he was playing dumb or telling the truth, and she was seriously hoping the latter was out of the question for the moment.

The two other detectives stared him down across the metal table, maybe hoping that their cold, frigid glares would elicit some sort of truth from the captive. But the other man furrowed his brow when they didn't answer and leaned forward. "No seriously, who? I don't know any Jasmines."

Esposito glanced at his partner. They seemed to have a conversation with their eyes before the Hispanic man pulled out a photo of the raven-haired lady.

"Her. Recognize her?"

Rock – _Eugene _– cocked an eyebrow. "That's Tara. She comes for deals or kicks. Not from me, mostly. Only sometimes."

"Do you know if she's ever done anything like, per say, ordering a hit?"

His eyes widened. "Man, I don't know! Maybe? I don't even know her last name!"

Ryan made a face and nodded. "Alright. We're gonna put you down in holding…but I think we're done here."

The two detectives gathered their papers and headed for the door, leaving the bald, menacing man frustrated and confused in his chair.

Kate rushed out of the observation room, stopping her partners in their tracks. She was certain that they could see her white-hot anger blazing in her eyes.

"That's _it_? '_We're done here_'? He shot Castle! He's the _only_ person we've got that's even remotely close to the whole thing and you're _already_ transferring him to holding? Do you even realize how – "

She would have continued had Esposito not placed his hands on her shoulders and shaken her. "He's not our guy, Becks. Didn't you see his eyes? He didn't do this. He's clueless."

"But I – "

"Would you have let him go if this whole thing had happened to anyone but Castle?"

Her protest died on her tongue. She stood there, eye level with the other cop, more than a little ticked off. She was certain she was pouting, and she knew she seemed like a downright child, but she didn't care. Angry, she turned on her heel and marched back into the bullpen.

"No bodies dropped today, and I promised Rick I'd tell him what's going on. And since I can't be included in this investigation – " she threw a particularly icy glare at the Captain, who had just exited a meeting room " – I'm just going to go. Call me if anything comes up." She grabbed her bag off her chair and, spinning around, headed for the door without so much as a wave goodbye.

* * *

"She's mad, bro."

"Yeah. I know. But it's not like we can just let her back on the case, right?"

"Yeah. Captain said she's gotta sit this one out."

Ryan and Esposito stood awkwardly at the exit of the bullpen, watching the elevator doors close.

After a pause:

"You think we should talk to the Captain about letting her back on? It might be good for her to get the anger out."

"Let her back on this case and I will drop you off the side of this building, then throw you into the river in a burlap sac, and if they ever find your bodies, I will personally see to it that it looks like an accident."

The boys turned, eyebrows raised, to see Lanie standing behind them with a cross look on her face. "I mean it, boys. She needs to rest."

They stared at her, dumbstruck and more than a little amused at her description. "Well bro," Javier announced, "We'd better not mess with this one."

"Nope."

"Alright then." Lanie spun on her heel and waltzed away, back down to her white metallic morgue, leaving the detectives in the dust.

* * *

Kate was lying in his arms, her back to him. He was breathing softly into her hair, making her shiver. She knew she should be asleep, but she couldn't close her eyes.

His words were replaying in her head. He'd been confused when she'd told him his so-called 'friend' had been living a lie, and she wasn't even sure he fully believed her now.

_She walked into the pristine hospital room she'd become so accustomed to, trying to keep her heels from clicking too loudly on the linoleum floor._

_Alexis saw her first. "Kate!" She put her book down and smiled._

_The detective returned the grin, but it was smaller and much less energetic. "Lex, can I talk to your dad for a second?"_

_The girl's face fell as she looked over at her father, who was now turned around and alert. "Yeah, sure. I'll be outside."_

_Kate smiled. "Thanks."_

_She put her purse down and chucked her heels under a chair, settling herself on the foot of his bed._

"_You're not gonna like this."_

_A crease appeared between his eyebrows. "Because?"_

_She took a deep breath. "That girl you know? Her name isn't Jasmine. I slammed her friend 'Rock' in an alleyway, and Ryan and Esposito interrogated him. He doesn't know any Jasmines, but when they showed him her photo, he knew her. Said her name was Tara. She's been lying to you, Rick. I don't know why, but I'm getting the feeling that this is a lot bigger than any of us realized and I don't like it."_

_She knew she was rambling, but she really didn't care. She settled back into the blankets and waited for his reaction._

_His face was blank with surprise. He stayed quiet for a moment before:_

"_Lying."_

_Kate sighed. "Yeah, Rick. I'm so, so sorry."_

_He huffed. "How could she have been lying? I knew her for years. That name's on her driver's liscense!"_

_She pursed her lips and shook her head. "I don't know."_

_He frowned. "Well, I…I don't believe it. I can't. She's always been one of the most levelheaded people I know! How could she have gotten mixed up in something like – "_

_He stopped. "Oh my God."_

_They sat staring at each other before he elaborated._

"_This Rock guy you brought in, is he the right guy?"_

"_No. He was clueless."_

_He closed his eyes and cringed. "Jas – she asked me to tap the guy's phone records, but at first she didn't want me to go check his apartment out. She said it would be dangerous. But she's been an actress all her life; it's what she does. She tricked me. It was a setup, Kate. This was all just one big joke to her."_

_She was frozen. Words just weren't finding their way into her thought process. "A…trick."_

"_Yeah. That's gotta be it. If you can find her, you've got your break."_

_Kate rubbed her eyes, sighing. "I'm so tired."_

_He pulled back the covers and let her lie down beside him. She snuggled into him, wrapping her arm around his torso and hitting the call button._

"_Hey!"_

_She glared at him. "You've been making faces this whole time. Don't even try to tell me you're not in pain."_

_He was silent, letting her get comfortable. "You care too much."_

_She poked his side. "Mhm. I know."_

_He smiled, giving her a kiss that made her toes curl. "I love you."_

_Her heart skipped a beat. "I love you too."_

_Within minutes, he was asleep, a small smile lingering on his lips._

Sleep had evaded her again. She tried to turn over, tried to see his face, but his arms were wrapped so tightly around her that she couldn't budge. She smiled – he really did love her.

It was a funny thing for her to think about. Love. She'd worked with him for so long, and at first she never would have believed that she would fall in love with him so fast. But now, she knew that was exactly how she felt. She knew she was ready for this, for him.

She had finally found her happiness.

It had been buried away for so long. After her mother's murder, her life had basically been one black hole. But then Castle had come along, all but throwing the light and joy he brought with him at her. He was just so _fun_, so amazing. Everyone instantly loved him – even her, although she'd never admit it.

And even though she sometimes felt herself slipping again, whenever something associated with the murder at the centre of her life popped out of the darkness of the file room, she knew she would be okay now. She was with him – he'd always told her he'd protect her. When her apartment had blown up. When he'd stayed the night before her apartment had blown up. He cared about her, there was no doubting that.

There were no _what if_s or _if only_s in her mind anymore. She knew she was safe, and she had a feeling this was it. He was it for her.

She was in love with Richard Castle, and there was nothing she would ever do to change that.

* * *

_Hello again :) I know it's been a while, but you wouldn't believe how much this chapter has irked me. I kinda sorta hate it. So tell me what you think? Maybe this delusion of wanting to shoot it will go away :)_


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